Lying in the sun ballasbakking on our officers’ course, our fancy would lightly turn to thoughts of lust. We would discuss the weirdness of developing sexual thoughts and desire for daardie luitenant in her tight browns. She was quite something in the circumstances, as she was neither ancient nor obese. Wouldn’t give her a second glance outside this place, we’d lie, But sure would give her a second go right now! And a third. Grr! Army life and kakgesels go hand in hand . .
Dhhavid was our resident warbler, guitar virtuoso, choir master and musical lecherer. His unquenchable optimism, sensayuma and musical talent led us to join him in song, eventually leading to a prestige KO KOnsert where we sang to the appreciative masses in uniform! A packed hall! Sold out! Yes, it was free and yes, they were ordered to be there, but still, it was like a following! Talk about a captive audience! Our groupies. We had them in the palm of our Sergeant-Major’s hand.
All this took place on Roberts Heights; or Thaba Tshwane; Voortrekkerhoogte as the weermag called it in those temporary days of mag – Actually almag, they thought, in fact! Forevah! Ve Chosen People! In Front-pullers Heights.
Dhhave patiently choreographed us, led us, cajoled us and taught us to sing Piano Man. Repeated rehearsals; he was much more demanding than the actual officers course. Billy Joel was nervous. Les One played the piano with a wide smile and an amazing laugh. Les Two of the shyer smile sang along, as did Okkie, Rod and – who else?
We were told how belangrik the officers course was, but anything and everything could interrupt it. Like if a ‘parade’ came up. Shortly after an earnest speech about just how important it was to do the course right and be responsible as future officers, would come the shout, ‘Drop Everything!” Some VIP generaal was coming and we needed to march in formation! Abandon classes! To the parade ground! O-Om-KEER!!
Then the PF’s would get serious and a bit anxious and entreat us to do our best. Kakaanjaag would be discouraged. We’d march up and down and round and about and play with our guns rifles and salute and gaan aan. Een Twee Drie Een
Another time our very important officers course was interrupted was for us to join a civilian force camp that was short of numbers. They didn’t have enough people to stage a field hospital lark. This led to running around in the bushveld near Tzaneen on the back of Bedford trucks, screeching to a halt to pitch tents, and open stretchers and put up drip stands. Which was a welcome diversion, with more than the usual dose of ballasbakking and lying under withaak thorntrees talking kak like Herman Charles Bosman’s Oom Schalk. Good value.
~~oo0oo~~
I’ve written about this before but distance lends enchantment to the view. You know, The Older we get the Better we were.
daardie luitenant – the only shapely female in our restricted little orbit on the medics base; we would follow her every stride with pinpoint focus on her browns – her military trousers – as hers were multiple sizes smaller than the average
kakgesels – in-depth discussion
KO KOnsert – free concert given by candidate officers – CO’s = KO’s
weermag – armed force to stay in power; will cross borders to do so
almag – power; from ‘almighty’
parade – parade; pronounced puh-rah-duh; a flurry of activity, prepared for in a mild state of panic as it had usually been ordered by superior officers and meant someone important would be visiting at way-too-short notice; and if things don’t go well someone at the bottom of the pecking order will be blamed; best foot forward and all that. lik yuk lik yuk lik yuk yay!
O-om-KEER! – Abo-out TURN!
kakaanjaag – shenanigans
gaan aan – carry on; pointless, frantic activity
Een Twee Drie Een – who knows
ballasbakking – scrotum-baking; testicle-tanning; relaxing, facing the sun, legs spread apart; chilling, discussing life’s important philosophical principles. Like browns size
withaak – thorn tree; an Acacia before the bladdy Aussies stole them; now a Senegalia but anyway will always be a withaak
~~oo0oo~~
Found a pic that looks more like our rehality back then. Uptight and Koptoe. The top pic is more impressive with knees and putties! Who remembers ‘putties’? and ShuShine!? And bladdy Brasso!?
“In the Spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.
Then her cheek was pale and thinner than should be for one so young,”
OK now you’re overdoing it, Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Vrystaat Confessions 