His Uncle Hec’s Funeral

Des is a mensch. He’s a gentleman and he has good intentions. He’s in a serious marriage and under strict starter’s orders. The thing is Des has a bit of a dodgy handbrake. Even when pulled up tight it can occasionally slip and he can lurch forward a few steps and then all hell canContinue reading “His Uncle Hec’s Funeral”

Strictly Come Langarm

We had a few gatherings in the long, wide and high Gailian lounge / dining room / bar while the cats were away and the lightly inebriated mice came out to play. Luckily Hec & Stell would regularly gallivant off to Kruger Park and other places in their yellow and white kombi. ‘Don’t worry’ TabsContinue reading “Strictly Come Langarm”

Jock Grant

Jock Grant was a Harrismith legend. “A legend in his own lunchtime” as they say. Fresh out of Scotland he joined the golf club and announced to the usual crowd leaning up against the bar in his broad accent that he was taking Afrikaans lessons. “Jock”, said Jannie du Plessis, “We think you should firstContinue reading “Jock Grant”

Dog Knot

Dogs accomplish mating by a unique physical way and process. Unlike most other mammals, the dog’s penis has a large bulbous enlargement at the base. When the dog’s penis enters the vagina of the bitch, it must go through a muscular ring or constriction of the external opening of the vagina. The moment the penisContinue reading “Dog Knot”

Safety First, Old-Style

I was telling you earlier that the Road Safety slogan in days of yore was Friends Don’t Tell Friends They Can’t Drive Because They’re Drunk Because Then Friends Will SHOW Friends How They Actually Drive Very Well When They’re Drunk, Thank You Very Much and this was proven half true one night when I toldContinue reading “Safety First, Old-Style”