Lunch for Two

Have lunch with anyone of your choice.

A famous thought experiment. Who would you choose? Besides the world-famous people – of whom I’d definitely choose Charles Darwin and Albert Schweitzer, maybe Rachel Carson, maybe Noam Chomsky, maybe some of the early Southern African explorers like Francois Levaillant or Adulphe Delegorgue, certainly Aloysius Smith (Trader Horn), and maybe his wonderful biographer Tim Couzens – I’ve not given this any time yet. So many to consider. More locally and more personally, I’d really like to have lunch with these three luminaries from my little home town Harrismith, Free State, South Africa:

Stewart Bain; my wonderful gran Annie’s Dad, Scottish immigrant, fisherman, railroad bridge-builder, hotelier, who became mayor of Harrismith and the prime mover behind the building of a town hall fit for a city in a Free State dorp; ‘Oupa’ Bain he was called by family, and The Grand Old Man of Harrismith by some towards the end of his life, maybe only at his (lavish) funeral?

Dr Anna Petronella ‘Nell’ van Heerden; pioneer general medical practitioner in Harrismith, Pioneer gynaecologist in Cape Town; then pioneer cattle farmer in Harrismith; lesbian cattle farmer in Harrismith, Vrystaat in the fifties and sixties – courage and self-confidence.

Dr Francis William ‘Frank’ Reitz; son of a state president; brother of the famous Deneys Reitz of Anglo-Boer War and WW1 fame; qualified at Guys in England, then specialised in surgery in Germany; practiced as a general medical practitioner in Harrismith Vrystaat.

Be amazing if they all told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Which they would, surely, now that no-one can do anything to them!? I have a theory that once we’re sitting on a cloud we won’t be bothered by earthly bulldust in the faintest.

Great Granpa Stewart Bain, it would be fascinating to know how much corruption there may have been in the building of the town hall – were there any rigged tenders, Great Grandad? Who benefited? How long did the building take? How involved was he, onsite? What was the ribbon-cutting day like? Who opposed this lavish project (some called it Bain’s Folly)? Did he acknowledge them and their concerns? And I’d ask about his special daughter Annie.

Dr Nell van Heerden, it would be fascinating to find about being a female pioneer. To know about her relationships; about her live-in companion Freddie Heseltine; about farming amongst toxic, confident, powerful masculinity; attending cattle auctions; her relationship with her staff; what protected her? Was it her National Party connections that made her immune from slander and attack? Was she immune? About her geological digs in the ‘holy land.’

My own personal GP, Dr Frank Reitz, it would be fascinating to hear about 1920’s to 1960’s surgery and chloroform anaesthesia; about other Harrismith and district characters; about pioneering surgical techniques; about the successes and some failures on the operating table and the making of prostheses and new equipment; About sport in the early days – rugby and polo especially. Personally, I would wonder if you remember – among your many patients – putting a bamboo hoop over a young boy’s face, covered with a cloth, sprinkling chloroform on it and saying, “OK, Kosie, now count backwards from ten.” I loved arithmetical challenges like that! I could do it! But I don’t think I got down to six. And do you remember digging a spiderbite out of my knee? What stories did your famous Dad, President Francis William, and your older brother Deneys tell you? What did he tell you about the Boer War when he visited you at Guy’s in London?

Of Charles Darwin I would ask way more about his wonderful voyage, and also lots about his amazing, stunning insight into how the fact of evolution happens; but all his other lunch guests would ask him that, so I’d mainly be interested in his five years circumnavigating the globe aboard the Beagle; imagine living on board a small wooden ship for over 1700 days – two months short of five years – living cheek-by-jowl with a fervently religious captain with a hot temper whose quarrels ‘bordered on insanity.’ I’d also want to know about his inner struggle with ‘coming out’ with this powerful scientific insight in the face of self-righteous religious ‘knowledge.’ Which was actually intense blustering ignorance. But only if he was comfortable to talk about it – he was a sensitive man who – I think – suffered his debilitating mystery illnesses mainly due to that stress.

~~oo0oo~~